Blinded By Red Flags

I have to question myself. How do I miss these red flags? I truly believe at the beginning of my relationships I am blinded by love infatuation. Friends and family will question me and I will immediately become defensive. My best responses to my friends and family are, "You just don't know him" or my personal favorite is,"We all have a past and I shouldn't judge someone because of their past".

I have always been extremely I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T yet I still want someone to share life with and grow with me. Maybe I rush into things too quickly, but I want the fairy tale so badly that I will let things slide. Each relationship that I end, it starts to take away a part of me that is good. which is the caring side. On a scale of a little crazy to out of your mind, this next boy would fall into the category of insane! Let's call him, Jason. Jason could be described as a moocher, insecure, aggressive and manipulative.

We met through mutual friends and growing up in a small town, everybody knows everybody. It was more of a Kindergarten crush. He wore cowboys boots, starched jeans, button up shirts, and drove a really nice truck. The whole "Cowboy Package" makes me silly in the head. Jason lived with his parents (red flag) and he had the dramatic stories of "every girl cheats on me" (red flag). I let him stay at my house and he slowly started to leave his things at my castle (red flag). I told him that I didn't want him staying at my house every night and he took the news surprisingly well. Cool! He gets it. He understands I enjoy my alone time. So far, so good.

So one night we get invited to go see a small country band that played at a local bar we frequented. How fun, right? Enjoying my adult time, drinking some adult beverages, this is golden. He is talking to people, I am talking to people. Everything in the small town of McKinney, Texas was fabulous, until... I gave this guy a hug. Jason FREAKED. OUT! Storming up to me very heated, he yanked my arm, while rudely interrupting me and telling me that I wasn't aloud to talk to any guys while calling me all the derogatory names you can call a female. Standing there, I was shaking from anger because he had just put his hands on me and had embarrassed me in front of a family member. Yes you read that right, it was a family member. The guy I gave a hug to was my uncle! As everything was going down I was trying to wrap my brain around the situation. I couldn't believe it! He was so angry and was yelling at me about how I was disrespecting him and all the embarrassment that I was causing him. At this point, I was just staring at him with disgust and at that moment I knew I had to end it. This was, once again, not my fairy tale ending.

The next morning, I woke up and once again realized I was blinded by red flags feeling defeated and ashamed. I had another failed relationship to add to the growing list. I am never ready to hear my parents or friends say the dreaded words, "We told you so", but like a big girl, I had to put my big girl panties on and take it. Cause ain't nobody got time for controlling assholes and I should have listened to my friends and family in the first place!