Labeling Your Child - More and more I am seeing people saying that their child has this or has that. Now I am no doctor but chances are your kid is probably being a little shit at the restaurant because A) You don't want to discipline them for fear of them hating you or B) Please see scenario A.
Cheer Mom's - Living vicariously through your teenager. What the fuck?! The mom wasn't popular in high school so the need to fit in with their teenager runs through their veins. They will do anything for the crown even kill someone. Google 'Willing to Kill: The Texas Cheerleader Story'! It's real.
Helicopter Parent - I'll admit it... I have been the helicopter mom. Of course, I worry about my daughter running down a rock hill full speed ahead because that is something you would never catch me doing, however I have made improvements. When we go to the park I am not as connected to her hip as I once was. I cut the umbilical cord 4 years after she was born! Learn to let go of your babies and let them have fun and get hurt and then when they get hurt, tell them to shake it off!
Sharing Too Much On Social Media - I know this girl who will post EVERYTHING on Facebook. Her baby daddy went to prison, he was cheating on her, she hated him, she loved him, he hit her, stole her car. She went into detail on everything she posted. I felt so embarrassed for her but more so for her children who will read it 15 years from now or much sooner. Aggravating as HELL!
Slow Drivers - You take a drivers test around 16 you learn that the left lane is at least 10 miles over the speed limit. Okay you don't learn that, but it's just a cardinal rule. My half mom is the worst. She isn't good with directions either. I have to believe she moved in with my Dad at 19 because she can't drive. Being the passenger in a vehicle as all the others drivers pass us I look down with shame. I know, I am a bitch and she will probably read this and then spit in my spaghetti but I will have deserved it.
Negativity - Debbie Downer's and Negative Ned's. Just go away.
People That Make You Feel Bad - You know those people they will say things like "you are so skinny" "how do you eat so much but don't gain weight?" Um because Jesus wanted me to eat a whole fucking pizza by myself and not gain weight...? STFU and let me eat my damn pizza.
The Pass-By Feel-Up - The guys that feel the need to rub up on me acting like there isn't much room to get by. I was at Home Depot a few weeks with my step mom getting a sprinkler and flowers. While standing at the check-out line this dude grazes my butt with his arm, he even went for round two on his way back out the store. Really, asshole?
Put Your Tit Up - What the hell is up with that? I have nothing against breastfeeding but really do you have to post the picture of it happening? "Oh look at me! I'm such a good mom" I don't want to fucking see that shit. Of course I will look at it! Who wouldn't? This generation is trying to prove too damn much. Ladies keep that shit private.
So You're Gay - Why do people feel the need to come "out of the closet"? Or make a special announcement at an award ceremony? Or hold a press conference? Or make a Youtube video about their "special announcement"? Nobody fucking cares! Just like nobody cares that I am not gay! What are you looking for? Acceptance? Well fucking accept that I am a girl who likes men.
Like I said above, if any of this offends you. Get the fuck over it!
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