Fuck Match.com.
Fuck eHarmony.
Fuck FarmersOnly.
Fuckkkkkkkk Internet dating!!!
I'm challenging myself to meet someone via grocery store, library, mall, etc. My challenge will be taking advantage of seeing someone in person, walking up to them and starting a conversation. So Stone Age...(I know). I am getting up to my head mother flippin' annoyed finding a date from a damn website. I want to feel my heart beat in my throat and feel my face flush by actual human interaction. And for fuck's sake I don't want to text all day! I don't need constant communication with someone I just met. I want to get to know someone slowly, you know, be excited to see him and learn little quirks like how they chew food cause if it's loud that ain't gonna sail this ship. Does he play air drums or strum the air guitar to Luke Bryan? Cause swoon. Heart eyes emoji.
Maybe it really is me... I could be totally insane for wanting something that matures over time, like over at least a month. Shit, I am in and out of a relationship before the milk in my fridge expires. I can't understand anyone that doesn't enjoy some alone time. My favorite time of the day is when I get home, turn on the television and see Abby Lee Miller yelling at children. We all have guilty pleasures and one of mine involves going to Mickey D's, cracking jokes with my mom while sneaking Dr. Pepper in the house and hiding them from my dad who is trying to stop the addiction. Please, I don't want to explain that I didn't answer my phone for that 5 minute trip. FACK!
Who knows, maybe I will meet someone that I will want to spend every waking minute with but until then I'll be stalking the isles of HEB.
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