5 Things You Need To Know Before Dating A Single Mom

This is more if you date me, not everyone has the same story, but I imagine that parents all have these same thoughts, feelings or rules. I have been blessed with a beautiful, unique and silly daughter and  fortunately when you date me I come as a package deal. Sadly, I have run into quite a few mishaps when I have dated someone, so I decided to tell you 5 things you need to know before dating a single mom like me. 

• Her dad is in the picture, we get along very well. I am not sure if that may be an intimidation factor but come to find out that seems to scare boys. If you can't accept a situation where mom communicates with the child's dad and has to sometimes be around him during birthday parties and school events,  then sorry Charlie. We are a team and in order for our daughter to grow and not be mentally screwed up, then we have to work together. 

• Her needs come before my own needs, therefore her needs definitely come before your needs. No, I won't be going out when she goes to sleep because I choose to be there for those 3:00AM scares when she hears a monster or the times when she wakes up with a stomach ache. 

• I want to hear your thoughts and opinions. I am not one to say my way or no way but just know ultimately I will have the last word. Her dad and I will decide how we discipline and raise her, however the man that is lucky enough to marry me, will be able to join our parenting team and help decide on how to raise her.

• My judgement on who will get the opportunity to be around her hasn't been that good in the past but that has changed. Nothing you say or do will ever make me feel comfortable with you being around her for a while; at least 10 years. No, not really, but when the time is right, I will let you know.

• When it comes to dating and going out, it may be hard for you to understand but I live my life on grown up hours. I have a full time job and I am a mom. I don't get to spend enough time with my daughter so I value my time with her and like I said above, "Her needs come before my own needs, therefore her needs definitely come before your needs." So if we go out and I need to be home by 8pm to give her a bath, read her a story, and kiss her good night (and sneak in a few episodes of Dance Moms), then I hope you can understand but if not, sorry not sorry. As much as you want to get to know me, I want to get to know you just as much but I have to split my time.

Dating can be hard but I think it is so much harder for single moms. If you happen to find yourself a single mother who lives up to these values, then you have found someone you will never have to worry about when it comes to raising children, possibly your future children.

Fuck Internet Dating

Fuck Tinder.

Fuck Match.com.

Fuck eHarmony.

Fuck FarmersOnly.

Fuckkkkkkkk Internet dating!!!

I'm challenging myself to meet someone via grocery store, library, mall, etc. My challenge will be taking advantage of seeing someone in person, walking up to them and starting a conversation. So Stone Age...(I know). I am getting up to my head mother flippin' annoyed finding a date from a damn website. I want to feel my heart beat in my throat and feel my face flush by actual human interaction. And for fuck's sake I don't want to text all day! I don't need constant communication with someone I just met. I want to get to know someone slowly, you know, be excited to see him and learn little quirks like how they chew food cause if it's loud that ain't gonna sail this ship. Does he play air drums or strum the air guitar to Luke Bryan? Cause swoon. Heart eyes emoji.

Maybe it really is me... I could be totally insane for wanting something that matures over time, like over at least a month. Shit, I am in and out of a relationship before the milk in my fridge expires. I can't understand anyone that doesn't enjoy some alone time. My favorite time of the day is when I get home, turn on the television and see Abby Lee Miller yelling at children. We all have guilty pleasures and one of mine involves going to Mickey D's, cracking jokes with my mom while sneaking Dr. Pepper in the house and hiding them from my dad who is trying to stop the addiction. Please, I don't want to explain that I didn't answer my phone for that 5 minute trip. FACK!

Who knows, maybe I will meet someone that I will want to spend every waking minute with but until then I'll be stalking the isles of HEB.

To The Guy That Always Comes Back

To that guy,

We go from going on a few great dates, getting to know each other and then to a complete halt. First I want to thank you by giving me something to blog about and second I want to know why? What happened? Did my stubborn ways of going after what I want scare you? Was I not spreading my legs fast enough for you? Possibly my strong opinions intimidated you? Was it putting my child first or not being available for you at the drop of the dime? If any of those reasons were for the no call backs or texts then thank you for that. You saved me from what I am trying to get away from. I no longer need to waste my time on you. I will find that time I was wasting for someone that values my thoughts and opinions.

What I can say is, that it truly sucks when this happens. I began to wonder if I should keep my mouth shut more. I start to think that maybe the only reason a man wants to pursue me is for my looks. But that can't be it because they always come back. I get the text or phone call wondering how I have been or how my Jeep has been and that my friends... is a bunch of bullshit! So, ladies, if this happens to you, just remember all of the wonderful things that you and I have to offer to someone and whoever gets our hearts is going to be one lucky guy.

Sincerely,

That Girl Who Is Tired Of Your Bullshit

Suck It Up And Deal... Dress Codes Matter

Listen up kids, put away the kik, quit snap chatting, set your iPhone down, stop worrying if your eyebrows are on fleek, get rid of the booze and pot, shit is about to get real! I am not here to hate on y'all, but what the hell are y'all doing with your lives? I have seen videos fighting over petty shit. I have seen comments that make absolutely no sense... like are you drunk or high? I've seen videos of some smoking pot or taking shots. Think about how your mother or even grandmother would feel. Stop the madness!!

My rant here today will be the school dress code, it's a rule, right? Why do some of you fight the rules? Let me preface by saying that it will never end. Dress codes will never go away no matter the age. Someday, you'll get a job and guess what... there will be a dress code. Inevitably, you will attend a funeral... dress code. Maybe you are interviewing for a job... dress code! One day if you get enough money and want to eat at one of those fancy restaurants, guess what again.. dress freaking code! You cannot run from it.

Been there, done that. I hated dress codes in school. I couldn't find shorts to reach the end of my fingertips, I wanted purple hair, cute strapless sandals, it was hard enough to find a shirt long enough to cover my midriff when I raised my hands. I know, first world problems. And I'll be damned if I ever raised my voice when the teacher or principle told me I needed to change, it never crossed my mind to become defensive, or to cry poor me. I put on that long ass t-shirt, went back to class to get my learn on. And shame on your mamas for trying to defend you when you knowingly went against the dress code! Shame, Shame Shame, their mama is probably shaking their head at your mama for allowing you to go against the published rules.

I don't understand why children think they are better than rules. You are at school to learn, plain and simple. You are not there to worry about what's fair or that boys can't focus because your tits and ass are hanging out. I'd be staring at you too. What you need to worry about is shutting your mouth, learn  about Quantum Physics, and get that diploma.

Save the butt shorts for non school hours and shutttttt up!

Random Things That Piss Me Off

A rant if you will. Things that make my blood boil just a little more than normal. If you feel like this may be about you... it probably is and if you choose to get offended... well, that is up to you.

Labeling Your Child - More and more I am seeing people saying that their child has this or has that. Now I am no doctor but chances are your kid is probably being a little shit at the restaurant because A) You don't want to discipline them for fear of them hating you or B) Please see scenario A.

Cheer Mom's - Living vicariously through your teenager. What the fuck?! The mom wasn't popular in high school so the need to fit in with their teenager runs through their veins. They will do anything for the crown even kill someone. Google 'Willing to Kill: The Texas Cheerleader Story'! It's real.

Helicopter Parent - I'll admit it... I have been the helicopter mom. Of course, I worry about my daughter running down a rock hill full speed ahead because that is something you would never catch me doing, however I have made improvements. When we go to the park I am not as connected to her hip as I once was. I cut the umbilical cord 4 years after she was born! Learn to let go of your babies and let them have fun and get hurt and then when they get hurt, tell them to shake it off!

Sharing Too Much On Social Media - I know this girl who will post EVERYTHING on Facebook. Her baby daddy went to prison, he was cheating on her, she hated him, she loved him, he hit her, stole her car. She went into detail on everything she posted. I felt so embarrassed for her but more so for her children who will read it 15 years from now or much sooner. Aggravating as HELL!

Slow Drivers - You take a drivers test around 16 you learn that the left lane is at least 10 miles over the speed limit. Okay you don't learn that, but it's just a cardinal rule. My half mom is the worst. She isn't good with directions either. I have to believe she moved in with my Dad at 19 because she can't drive. Being the passenger in a vehicle as all the others drivers pass us I look down with shame. I know, I am a bitch and she will probably read this and then spit in my spaghetti but I will have deserved it.

Negativity - Debbie Downer's and Negative Ned's. Just go away.

People That Make You Feel Bad - You know those people they will say things like "you are so skinny" "how do you eat so much but don't gain weight?" Um because Jesus wanted me to eat a whole fucking pizza by myself and not gain weight...? STFU and let me eat my damn pizza.

The Pass-By Feel-Up - The guys that feel the need to rub up on me acting like there isn't much room to get by. I was at Home Depot a few weeks with my step mom getting a sprinkler and flowers. While standing at the check-out line this dude grazes my butt with his arm,  he even went for round two on his way back out the store. Really, asshole?

Put Your Tit Up - What the hell is up with that? I have nothing against breastfeeding but really do you have to post the picture of it happening? "Oh look at me! I'm such a good mom" I don't want to fucking see that shit. Of course I will look at it! Who wouldn't? This generation is trying to prove too damn much. Ladies keep that shit private.

So You're Gay - Why do people feel the need to come "out of the closet"? Or make a special announcement at an award ceremony? Or hold a press conference? Or make a Youtube video about their "special announcement"? Nobody fucking cares! Just like nobody cares that I am not gay! What are you looking for? Acceptance? Well fucking accept that I am a girl who likes men.

Like I said above, if any of this offends you. Get the fuck over it!

Nobody Can Measure Up To Mr. Rick

I truly believe that no one is better than Mr. Rick, also known as my Dad. In my twenty-six years I have never seen him raise his voice. He is the type of man who doesn't fight. The kind of person who lives life to the fullest and nothing and I mean absolutely NOTHING can bring him down. Cancer? Nope he beat that like the champion he is. Fourth child having open heart surgery? Never did his strength waiver. Funny? Yes, I have to admit it. If he ever finds out that I wrote a post about him he will ask me who thought he was 'hot' from the picture that I have posted. Right now he is currently bringing up the memory of an ex of mine who threw his precious mason jars in the fire pit. (Stay tuned for that story it's the best one.)

My dad works hard everyday. He had a hernia once and went to work the very next day. I have seen him cry one time due to me being a hormonal teenage bitch a moment I wish I could erase. Once a week he gets an infusion to keep him healthy. Most people would use that as a way to get attention. He hates attention...unless it's a hot girl that is flirting with him. He won't let anything or anyone stop him from living. 

He raised my brothers and I to work hard for everything. For my Sweet Sixteen his birthday gift to me was a brand new 2005 Jeep Liberty. He handed me the keys and said, 'Happy Birthday, go get a job' and if I made the payments the car was mine. So the next day I began working at a horrible Chinese restaurant. At sixteen having a job to pay for my car seemed ridiculous. All of my hard earned money was going towards a car payment. Today I am thankful for that. I work hard for everything I have and I never ask for a handout. This is a top quality of mine I feel good about. 

If you ever get me on the topic of my dad I will talk your ear off. Proud and I ain't afraid to say that nobody will measure up to him. 

My 30 Day Hair Challenge

At one point in a girl's life you may hear her complain about her hair. You may hear such things like, 'it won't grow fast enough', 'I'm gonna chop it off!' or 'The weather is shit and I can't girl'. Genetically we are programmed to complain about things that we can't control. It is in our DNA.

Ladies, I don't know about you but I will never spend a crazy amount of money on my hair. I buy Herbal Essence Long Term Relationship Shampoo and Conditioner. Sadly, the longest relationship I've ever had was with my conditioner. I blow dry, straighten and sometimes curl it if I'm feeling extra lady like. Don't ask me what my natural hair color is because I have colored it every color in the rainbow. Here lately I have not been coloring it because I don't want to keep up with the maintenance and Lord knows I have a long list of other things I need to get done, like swiping left or swiping right.

Here is the list of things I have tried to help keep it healthy.

• Deep Conditioned (No complaints surprisingly)
• Biotin (Didn't last long)
• Cut it regularly myself (anything to save a penny)
• Gone a few days without washing it (Whoever can do this I am jealous)
• Coconut Oil (If you attempt this I suggest rinsing it out in the backyard)

In an effort to grow my hair, I am taking a 30 Day Hair Challenge. Over the next thirty days I will not blow dry, straighten, or curl my hair. I will simply let it air dry. Today was the first day.

Over the next thirty days I hope to gain longer, stronger and beautiful hair. Maybe this will help me gain those qualities in a relationship. Are you up for my 30 day challenge?